One exam and two papers to go. My first exam today went... okay. It was no slam dunk, but it also wasn't terrible. But I know for sure that I did not get a 100% and that's scary to me. So I went to my advisor and asked her to tell me that it's okay not to get a 100% on everything, and she said "NOS, you can drop by, email me, call me anytime and I will tell you over and over that you don't need to get a 100% on everything." I told her that I'm afraid that I will get bad grades and then I won't be able to do the things I want in life, like go to graduate school. She said that even mediocre grades from my uni (I go to a very reputable school-- one of the top universities in the country) will get me far. And that was really comforting.
I think the problem right now is that I have all of these assignments and exams in the next few days and I'm not at all confident. I can't tell if I'm doing well or I'm doing poorly. And uncertainty, as you may remember, I am not very good at coping with uncertainty. I like to have complete control over everything, and when things are up in the air it's really scary.
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5 comments:
Hi NOS, wow you are very hard on yourself, it really is OK not to get 100%. Sounds like you have a great advisor there. Control issues...yep I can relate. Take care and good luck with the rest of the exams hon.
NOS I am so glad you have such an encouraging advisor who you can be reassured by at any time. (((NOS)))
Good Morning NOS,
Here listening.....
NOS, it does sound like you are pretty hard on yourself. I can relate, because I'm always afraid I'm going to fail a test or a paper in college and then I will end up with an A or a B. I push myself and worry that I'm not measuring up. But I've learned that this is not a good habit for me to get into; it's not healthy and it doesn't help me succeed to be constantly wishing I had done better or be expecting myself to fail. I think this all boils down to our self-esteem, and it sounds like you struggle with that just like I do and so many other people do as well. Try to be less hard on yourself.
Learn and enjoy NOS. No one of us is ever perfect. The sheer joy of learning is awesome.
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